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When I Drop Into My Body

When I drop down into my body, I can sense contradictions in every cell of my being. Something is born while another thing is dying. There is contraction, expansion, relaxation and neutrality woven into a complex dance that - for now - is making sure I stay alive. Parts of my body are made of some of the hardest materials found on planet earth. Other parts are tender and squishy, in need of being protected by me. When I breathe into this complexity, into this collection of contradictions, black and white thinking is melting away. Right, wrong, this OR that - it‘s not in my nature. This, AND that, AND that, mixed into a delicious soup with a pinch of mystery and the unknown. Ever changing combinations. It‘s in my nature, this perfect ungraspable chaos.

When I drop down into my body, magic no longer has a taste of the esoteric. Magic is what we‘re made of. Sensing, processing, digesting, rebuilding, exchanging, connecting, adapting, moisturizing, cleansing, balancing, shedding. My body is a mind blowing alchemical miracle, a jaw dropping spectacle. How could I ever be anything other than in pure awe of it‘s beauty?

When I drop down into my body, I become aware of the precious gift that is this piece of earth I have the honor to feed, touch, move around, decorate, wash, caress, listen to, communicate with, love. I inhabit a 167cm tall wonder.

When I drop down into my body, I‘m meeting the most creative story teller who knows of plot twists beyond words and my wildest imagination. Throughout my life I‘ve gone to remote places driven by a desire to be more alive, to learn more about us humans and the stories that weave this world we live in. I fulfilled this desire, but only in those moments where I allowed myself to drop into this body. Far, near, all by myself or in delicious company, it was always my body through which I was granted to learn, sense, understand and explore.

When I drop down into my body, I no longer need to fear the diversity and intensity of my emotional landscape. Grief becomes a teacher, whispering secrets that were known by my ancestors, known by plants and animals, by mountain chains and river banks. Healthily embodied, anger becomes a driving force, an ally that helps me to tap into forces that make sure I protect what’s dear to me, that helps me build containers with a foundation of justice. Through knowing and embodying my anger, I start to understand sustainability. Breathing into the hot mess of my jealousy, I find myself melting coping and shut down mechanisms that have been passed down through generations. My jealousy teaches me to show up more truthfully, courageously and vulnerably. „I want...“ „I wish...“ „I need...“ Sentences I need to hear myself speak. Sentences I need to feel myself feeling into.

When I allow myself to drop into this body, I allow myself to come home to an impermanent, ever changing tree house, hosting countless guests such as feelings, foods, musical compositions, thoughts, surges of energy, liquids, bacteria, other people‘s body parts, impulses, pain, bliss, numbness. Magic.

When I drop down into this body, this body drops into the earth. And the earth drops into the Universe.

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